Motherhood is a unique experience for every mother and sometimes we forget that. We get caught up in how we are different or what we “lack” that other moms don’t. It’s so easy to compare, but in reality, we should appreciate our differences! After all, the uniqueness of motherhood is one of the reasons it is such a beautiful life event. Motherhood comes with good and bad– beauty and struggles. Many speak on losing themselves in motherhood, and I 100% see how that happens, but for me… it was different. I found myself in motherhood.
The uniqueness of motherhood is one of the reasons it is such a beautiful life event.
My dreams as a young girl were typical– get married, have kids. But there was no indication in my mind that motherhood was my destiny.
My 20’s were filled with falling in love (hubs!), learning what real love is, having babies, and lots of personal growing pains. There were a lot of ups and downs for me. Some ups: finding and marrying my soulmate, having my babies, buying our first house, completing my B.S., completing my M.S., and there are really so many more! I didn’t have the best role models when it comes to relationships, communication, or even parenting. So most of my growing pains consisted of me learning how to positively and constructively navigate these things the hard way and through my own experiences.
I was 24 when Wesley was born on April 16, 2013. My life had completely changed, and I knew it. My days were filled with the typical new mom nerves + excitement. I was a self-admitted helicopter mom and wouldn’t change it for the world! Soon after, I found out I was pregnant with William, and he was born on July 16, 2014. I lightened up once I had William… some. I, at least, wasn’t so helicopter-y.
My babies were such great babies. Wesley started sleeping through the night when he was 6 weeks old! William… well, he was a little different. It took him two years to sleep completely through the night, and even after that he woke up in the 4 o’clock hour for the next year. He’s still an early riser! That was literally the only issue, and it’s not even a legit issue. We had easy babies!
Motherhood Is Unique For Everyone
A few years down the road there was a point I began to feel like I had lost myself. My life was consumed with motherhood. That was all I knew. People often talk about losing themselves in motherhood, and I couldn’t help but think… that’s me. There was no time for myself… not even when I had to pee. After feeling this way for a while, I actually decided to start Mom of W.A.R. It was going to be my hobby, my outlet… and it has been!
Over the next few years there was lingering feeling like I wasn’t a person– I was just a mother. I thought I needed more girl’s days or more trips to the grocery store alone. After some time, I started realizing that I enjoyed those things (and all moms should get them sometimes!), but they weren’t fulfilling me the way I thought they would. It wasn’t until I started working more on myself that my lightbulb turned on… and it shined so bright!
I felt lost, but I realized it wasn’t because I was a mom. It was because I didn’t know who I was as a person. I hadn’t defined myself– I was just sitting on the fence post letting the world tell me I was an overwhelmed mom. THAT’S NOT WHO I AM. The world shouldn’t define me, right? That’s my job.
I was just sitting on the fence post letting the world tell me I was an overwhelmed mom. THAT’S NOT WHO I AM.
Over the past few years, I have defined who I am as a person. Of course I knew my roles in life, but it’s so easy to let the world in your head. That’s what I did. The world had me convinced that moms were supposed to feel lost. Let me tell you, once I stopped letting the world influence who I should or shouldn’t be, my already bright and beautiful world became that much brighter! I was never lost. I found myself in motherhood.
So, I’ve learned some things about myself:
- I am a homebody at heart. My favorite thing in the world is doing nothing at home with my guys.
- There’s absolutely no reason I should feel bad when making rules, setting boundaries etc. with other family members regarding the kids
- My husband and kids define me– and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Being a mom has come so incredibly natural to me. When the boys were babies, I would say even though I had no idea what I was doing, I somehow knew exactly what to do. In my soul, I believe, that being a mom is part of my destiny. I know it sounds cheesy, and like I mentioned at the beginning, motherhood is a unique experience and it’s totally okay, natural, and normal to experience it differently than I do. Different doesn’t mean less meaning or love. Different is what makes motherhood beautiful. Define yourself, and embrace it!
I found myself in motherhood.
So let me share with you the definition I have given myself: I am a wife, mom, and lifelong student. Am I an individual? Sure. There are things I enjoy that my guys don’t… although not many, ha! But being an individual is not what defines my life or brings me joy. It may have taken me 30 years to fully understand, but I know who I am, and that is incredibly freeing. Knowing exactly who I am has given me self-confidence in a way I have never had it. So that, my friends, is how I found myself in motherhood.
BTW… I still can’t pee without being interrupted.
Do you have a clear sense of who you are? I know that sounds strange, because it seems like you should know who you are at any stage of your life. But for me, once I knew… I knew, and I realized I didn’t know before. Tell me, how do you define yourself?